Solo: a mediocre Star Wars story

So I watched Solo a few minutes ago.

“I thought you said that you wouldn’t pay to watch another Star Wars movie ever!”

I didn’t.

 

*evil laugh*

 

After the feminist, progressive middle-finger that “The Last Jedi” was, I decided to skip this and all the rest of the Social Justice Wars movies by Disney on theater or DVD/BD.  And I’ll stick with my promise. And is not only their Liberal crap agenda that makes me keep my money from them but their awful PR tactics that rely on insulting the people that puts them food on their table.

What? You thought that internet drama about Kelly Trans being “harassed” on social media being released at the same time that Solo was bombing on cinemas was a coincidence? Oh, you are so naive..

 

“oh boo hoo I am a spoiled southern Californian brat and Hollywood actress that makes millions and is called fat on the internet”

 

So I decided to download it, in a not very good quality and watched it. So what do I think?

It’s better than The last Jedi and The force awakens but is just a bit below than Rogue One..which wasn’t that great but at least had a great third act. Solo? not very much. Maybe is the troubled production that it has, which started as a comedy-driven movie by lord/miller and ended up in the hands of Ron Howard. A good director with zero styles and which is basically a yes man.

 

I doubt their version would be better..or maybe it would..who knows

 

Solo is simply an Ok-ish movie. The direction is competent. The story is predictable and mildly entertaining. The music does its job. The actors are fine. For all the flack Alden Einrecghljkdwt received about not being good and even having a coach actor on set, he did his best and it works. The humor is flat. It has lots of action and adventure like the classic Star Wars movies, but most of the time it feels cliched. It also has many of the “new” Star Wars tropes like (white) men are idiots, women are great, perfect and flawless and their newest addition to the wall of shame,  L3.

Yeah..let’s talk about L3 for a second. When the movie was released, Childish Gambino said that his character Lando Calrissian was a pansexual that falls in love for a feminist robot. In reality it wasn’t like that. Why he had the need to say some BS? I don’t know. I guess he thought he would look progressive and woke.

 

Sure Mr Gambino

 

That robot L3 is an annoying civil rights caricature. I am not sure if it was suppossed to be a satire or just cute but it falls in both instances.  It’s annoying, unfunny, gross and kinda felt like a relief when they kill her..it..whatever. The scene when Lando almost cry because she died was just stupid. Robots in SW lore are simply servants and people seems that that way. Nobody will remember that annoying droid in years to come.

But that’s just a brief moment in the whole movie. The rest is just a regular action movie with fan service here and there. Oh right, Dart Maul appears near the end by the way.

Yeah ,remember this?

Nope. He is alive. Apparently, in the cartoon he survives. Ugh. Fine, whatever.

In conclusion, it was a mediocre Star Wars movie about a beloved character that Disney and Lucasfilm don’t gives two shits. Nobody will remember it in years to come, except as the dubious honor of being the first “Bomb box-office” in the Star Wars cannon.

 

OK, the second one

 

I am glad I didn’t watched this movie on cinemas. Or even rented online. This a mediocre work that doesn’t deserves any money. Sorry for the actors and the crew, but Star Wars deserves better. And so far we had a remake, two sub-par side stories and a spit on the mythology and lore. What will happen on Episode IX?

I also updated my Star Wars list with the adition of this flick. Check it out of you haven’t.